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The shift

This is a follow-up to the previous blog: Our background

Stress
Over the years our lives became busier and busier and unconsciously stress increased. Jan’s boss became ill in 2017 and began to hand over his tasks to him. He eventually passed away in 2018 and Jan took his place in the company. He was given tasks that normally 3 people would work on, and that for a very long period of time. Angela also got more and more tasks at work and both of them slowly showed signs of overstraining, although we did not consciously realize this ourselves.

The big shift
In 2019, Angela received from a voice within that it was time to quit her job. The following day she immediately reported this at work, and left her job officially on July 1. Two months later, the time had come for us to leave the Evangelical Church behind as well. And that was when the big shift started for us.

Learn to love yourself
From our contact with ‘God’, we were told it was time to spend more time on ourselves instead of being so busy with others. “Learn to love yourself” was what kept coming to us as a message. The first view times this message came, we rejected it. “There’s nothing wrong, right? Isn’t everything going well? We already love ourselves, right?” was what we kept giving as an answer.

The message kept coming back, to the point where we couldn’t ignore it anymore and we finally admitted that there was probably work to be done and that we got this message so many times for a reason. And that was the moment something inside cracked open.

In the time that followed, we received all kinds of information that helped us to understand how you function as a human being; about the conscious, the subconscious, memories, how your life is formed and why each individual reacts differently to various situations. We learned a lot about ourselves and our whole picture of life changed completely. The image we had of ourselves and others, but also the image we had of ‘God’. How we had seen God until then (as a being on a throne ruling over everything) changed completely. We no longer saw ‘God’ as 1 being separate from us, but as that which we all (everyone and everything) form with each other; the ‘All that is’. As a whole we form ‘God’ as one Great Unity. From which no one and nothing is excluded. That was really a expansion of consciousness. 😉

Burnout
A year later, August/September 2020, Jan could no longer handle the pressure of work and got a burnout. A few months later, it also became too much for Angela, and that’s when a very difficult time began for us. A time when we could no longer mask or hide anything anymore for ourselves. Literally EVERYTHING came to the surface. Unprocessed memories and traumas, unconscious beliefs and even all the old physical injuries came back. The spiritual world seemed to be silent and it felt like we were all alone. It felt like we were dying and we both had suicidal thoughts as well. It all felt too intense and we both preferred to quit. ‘The dark night of the soul’, as some call it, we have certainly experienced. And deeply too. And yes, this was tough.

Grateful
Because we spent a lot of time in silence and stillness and dared to look at ourselves in the mirror 100%, everything changed. After about a year, we had both recovered pretty well. And although we would not like to go through it again like this and have experienced this period as very difficult, we are enormously grateful for what it has brought us; a mega shift in our thinking and our lives. A deep transformation in how we view the world, ourselves, the people around us and how we experience the spiritual world. Everything is different and everything feels completely different too; more beautiful and deeper.

Preparations
Looking back at the previous years, we can see that these were all preparations for where we are now and the business we started: Magick Life. For the past 8 years we have both read bags full of books, attended dozens of conferences, workshops, courses and studies and applied what was relevant to us. And while all of this has its added value, taking time in silence and stillness and doing ‘self-reflection’ ultimately brought us the most.

The source within
Although we used to experience the source more as something that was outside of ourselves, in recent years we have rediscovered the true source within. The source that is in all of us. The source of love, unity, peace, happiness, which we are deep inside. By taking rest, time in silence and by looking deeply in ourselves, we discovered who we really are; the God we had always leaned on before. It cannot be found outside ourselves; everything is inside. What a peace when you get to discover this.